Everybody knows that I’m the last bitch to give a fuck about sports. Really, it would be way too hard for me to give half a shit – laxative or not – about a bunch of sweaty jocks chasing each other around and smacking each others’ butts. But I happened to be home in Philly when the Flyers hit the playoffs, therefore games were forced upon me. And, for the first time in my entire fucking life, I watched a hockey game in the most pensive manner, concentrating on not jizzing my pants in front of my dad… BECAUSE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS KNOW HOW TO GROW A BEARD!!!!
Vill Leino
Scott Hartnell
Sean Leahy and Greg Wyshynski
Dear Philadelphia Flyers (and any other sports team),
Need a quick gimmick to sell tickets? Gain fans? Get laid? GROW A FUCKING BEARD. Seriously, quit this macho, testosterone/steroid induced “sports” bullshit and just let your face go. I promise, then and only then, will you have at least one muff to dive upon.
LoOoOoOoOoOoOve,
Sabrina
Beards Give Me Boners 
FUCKIN FLYERSSS YEAAAAAAAAH WERE DOING IT THIS YEAR BABY!